Flying high

I can still remember the first time I got on a plane. I was 18 years old and I was going to spend the whole gorgeous summer in US working at a Girl Scout camp. I have all these glorious memories about how great the food was, how quickly the flight passed and all the free movies I could watch. Needless to say, I was pretty wet behind the ears.

Since then I have experienced many flights. When you hook up with a guy who was born in the other side of the world, it’s one of those things you really can’t avoid. I have experienced short flights across Europe and really long flights across several continents. And finally, I have really learned to hate flying.

It’s not that I’m scared of it. It really is an all consuming disgust towards planes, airplane food and the time you have to sit strapped down to a very uncomfortable seat. Imagine sitting 30 hours on a sore tailbone, bloating like a balloon because the food you have been given is so full of preservatives that your body goes into a shock, puking your guts (and the aforementioned dinner) out during turbulence, sitting next to a really large person who sleeps all through the flight so you can’t go to the toilet and getting your hair so frizzy because of the dry air that is sticks to your face (a bit like during the winter in Finland, really). I could go on forever.

The thing is, I’m stuck. I love traveling, but I just hate the actual moving bit. And how sad is it, that I experience motion sickness in most forms of transport (although I haven’t puked while riding a bicycle yet). And now we finally get to the point. Could someone please come up with a commercial teleportation device very soon? Because I have to get on a plane again in a couple of months and I’d really like avoid it if possible.